Violate Me in the Violet Time

Violate me, in the violet time,
In the vilest way that you know!
Desecrate, savage me
Utterly ravage me
On me no mercy bestow.
To the best things in life I am cold and oblivious
Give me a man who is lewd and lascivious, to
Violate me, in the violet time,
In the vilest way that you know!

Violate me, in the violet time,
In the vilest way that you know!
Desecrate, savage me
Utterly ravage me
On me no mercy bestow.
I'd never go with a man for his money,
Just find me one who will fuck like a bunny, to
Violate me, in the violet time,
In the vilest way that you know!

No Balls at All

No Balls at All

Oh, listen my children, a story you'll hear.
A song I will sing you; 'twill fill you with cheer.
A charming young maiden was wed in the Fall.
She married a man who had no balls at all.

No balls at all.  No balls at all.
She married a man who had no balls at all.

The night of the wedding she leaped into bed.
Her breasts were a-heaving; her legs were well spread.
She reached for his penis; his penis was small.
She reached for his balls; he had no balls at all.

''Oh mother, oh mother, oh, what shall I do?
I've married a man who's unable to screw.
For many long years, I've avoided the call,
Now I've married a man who has no balls at all.''

''Oh daughter, oh daughter, now don't feel so sad;
I had the same trouble with your dear old dad.
There are lots of young men who will answer the call
Of the wife of a man who has no balls at all.''

Now the daughter, she followed her mother's advice,
And she found the proceedings exceedingly nice,
And a bouncing young baby was born in the Fall
To the wife of the man who had no balls at all.

Spoken:  No testicles whatsoever!

Who Did the Pushing?

Was it you who did the pushing
left the stains upon the cushion
footprints on the dashboard upside-down
Was it you, who's sly woodpecker
who got into my daughter Rebecca
if it was you, you better leave this town
    
Response:
Yes, was I who did the pushing
left the stains upon the cushion
footprints on the dashboard upside-down
But, since I've got into your daughter
I've had trouble passing water
so, I guess we're even all around!!

A New Year's Resolution to Leave Dundee

A New Year's Resolution to Leave Dundee

by William Topaz McGonagall

Welcome! thrice welcome! to the year 1893,
For it is the year I intend to leave Dundee,
Owing to the treatment I receive,
Which does my heart sadly grieve.
Every morning when I go out
The ignorant rabble they do shout
'There goes Mad McGonagall'
In derisive shouts as loud as they can bawl,
And lifts stones and snowballs, throws them at me;
And such actions are shameful to be heard in the city of Dundee.
And I'm ashamed, kind Christians, to confess
That from the Magistrates I can get no redress.
Therefore I have made up my mind in the year of 1893
To leave the ancient City of Dundee,
Because the citizens and me cannot agree.
The reason why? -- because they disrespect me,
Which makes me feel rather discontent.
Therefore to leave them I am bent;
And I will make my arrangements without delay,
And leave Dundee some early day.