Friday, May 18, 2012


The horse and mule live thirty years
And never know of wines or beers.
The goat and sheep at twenty die
And never taste of scotch or rye.
The cow drinks water by the ton
And at eighteen is mostly done.
The dog at fifteen cashes in
Without the aid of rum or gin.
The cat in milk or water soaks
Then at twelve it drops and croaks.
The modest, sober, bone-dry hen
Lays eggs for nogs, and dies at ten.
All animals are strictly dry,
They sinless  live and sinless die.
But sinful, ginful, rum-soaked men
Survive for three-score years and ten.

Thursday, May 17, 2012


There was a young lady named Ransom,
Who screwed three times in a hansom.
But when she asked for more
Came a weak voice from the floor
"My name is Simpson, not Samson."

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

You Suck

You Suck, by OLuvs Adderrall