You Ladyes all of Merry England
Who have been to kisse the Dutchesse's
hand,
Pray did you lately observe in the Show
A Noble Italian call'd
Signior Dildo?
The Signior was one of her Highness's Train
[5]
And helpt to Conduct her over the Main,
But
now she Crys out to the Duke I will go,
I have no more need for Seignior
Dildo.
At the Signe of the Crosse in Saint James's Street,
When next you
go thither to make your Selfes Sweet, [10]
By Buying
of Powder, Gloves, Essence, or Soe
You may Chance get a
Sight of Signior Dildo.
You'l take him at first for no Person of
Note
Because he appears in a plain Leather Coat:
But when you his virtuous Abilities know [15]
You'll
fall down and Worship Signior Dildo.
My Lady Southesk, Heav'ns prosper her
for't,
First Cloath'd him in Satten, then brought him to Court;
But his
Head in the Circle, he Scarcely durst Show,
So modest a Youth was Signior
Dildo. [20]
The good Lady Suffolk thinking no
harm,
Had got this poor Stranger hid under her Arm:
Lady Betty by Chance
came the Secret to know,
And from her own Mother, Stole Signior Dildo:
The
Countesse of Falmouth, of whom People tell [25]
Her
Footmen wear Shirts of a Guinea an Ell:
Might Save the
Expence, if she did but know
How Lusty a Swinger is Signior Dildo.
By the
Help of this Gallant the Countesse of Rafe
Against the feirce Harris
preserv'd her Self Safe: [30]
She Stifl'd him almost
beneath her Pillow,
So Closely she imbrac'd Signior Dildo.
Our dainty fine
Dutchesse's have got a Trick
To Doat on a Fool, for the Sake of his
Prick,
The Fopps were undone, did their Graces but know [35]
The Discretion and vigor of Signior Dildo.
That
Pattern of Virtue, her Grace of Cleaveland,
Has Swallow'd more Pricks, then
the Ocean has Sand,
But by Rubbing and Scrubbing, so large it do's
grow,
It is fit for just nothing but Signior Dildo. [40]
The Dutchesse of Modena, tho' she looks high,
With
such a Gallant is contented to Lye:
And for fear the English
her Secrets shou'd know,
For a Gentleman Usher took Signior Dildo.
The
countess of the Cockpit (who knows not her Name) [45]
She's famous in Story, for a Killing Dame:
When all
her old Lovers forsake her I Trow
She'l then be contented with Signior
Dildo.
Red Howard, Red Sheldon, and Temple so tall
Complain of his absence
so long from Whitehall: [50]
Signior Barnard has
promis'd a Journy to goe,
And bring back his Countryman Signior
Dildo.
Doll Howard no longer with his Highness must Range,
And therefore
is profer'd this Civill Exchange:
Her Teeth being rotten, she Smells best
below, [55]
And needs must be fitted for Signior
Dildo.
St Albans with Wrinkles and Smiles in his Face
Whose kindnesse to
Strangers, becomes his high Place,
In his Coach and Six Horses is gone to
Pergo,
To take the fresh Air with Signior Dildo. [60]
Were this Signior but known to the Citizen
Fopps
He'd keep their fine Wives from the Foremen of Shops,
But the
Rascalls deserve their Horns shou'd Still grow,
For Burning the Pope, and his
Nephew Dildo.
Tom Killigrews wife, North Hollands fine Flower, [65]
At the Sight of this Signior, did fart, and Belch
Sow'r,
And her Dutch Breeding farther to Show,
Says welcome to England,
myn Heer Van Dildo.
He civilly came to the Cockpitt one night,
And
profer'd his Service to fair Madam Knight, [70]
Quoth
she, I intrigue with Captain Cazzo
Your Nose in myne Arse
good Seignior Dildo.
This Signior is sound, safe, ready, and Dumb,
As ever
was Candle, Carret, or Thumb:
Then away with these nasty devices, and Show
[75]
How you rate the just merits of Signior
Dildo.
Count Cazzo who carryes his Nose very high,
In Passion he Swore,
his Rivall shou'd Dye,
Then Shutt up himself, to let the world know,
Flesh
and Blood cou'd not bear it from Signior Dildo. [80]
A Rabble of Pricks, who were welcome before,
Now
finding the Porter deny'd 'em the Door,
Maliciously waited his coming
below,
And inhumanely fell on Signior Dildo.
Nigh weary'd out, the poor
Stranger did fly [85]
And along the Pallmall, they follow'd full Cry,
The Women concern'd from
every Window,
Cry'd, Oh! for Heavn's sake save Signior Dildo.
The good
Lady Sandys, burst into a Laughter
To see how the Ballocks came wobbling
after, [90]
And had not their weight retarded the
Fo
Indeed 't had gone hard with Signior Dildo.
