Monumental Erections

The Egyptians built the pyramids
The Greeks the parthenon
Prehistoric man built monoliths
Of which Stonehenge is one

But modern man's only monument
To his enduring might
Is a glass-clad priapic phallus
Six hundred feet in height

--Patrick Winstanley

Epitaph

Beneath this stone a virgin lies,
Life for her held no terrors.
Born a virgin, died a virgin;
No hits, no runs, no errors.

This Is Your Brain on Sex

THis Is Your Brain on Sex
by Daniella, Princess of Doom

Dr.Livingston, I presume
In his buggy, rides sand dunes
Nice thick tires leave a trail
he's in the bush, he's gingerale

I fought the great big white rhino.
He stabbed me in the heart.
He is one clever asshole.
I am one super tart.

Some dumb fax just came for you
You owe all kinds of lettuce
put me on your lap
Spank me, tell me crap
I see you're just the same
I see you're just the same

All the card tricks you show me
I learn them and I remember
when you come back 'round I'll be ready
I'll keep my aim on you steady

Drink the koolaid
have the punch
Boy get laid-- you pack a punch
I know this is the way.

Dr. Livingston I presume
say you're after my lovedoom
I say I'm after afternoon
When your girl goes home
and you're alone
In your pants
In your head

I fought the great big white rhino.
He stabbed me in the heart.
He's such a clever asshole.
I'm such a super tart.